These past few days have been heartbreaking. Baby Ryan is still struggling, and the anguish that his parents feel is indescribable. His limbs are stiff at times, and he has frequent "brainstorms" that demonstrate brain trauma. He is no longer on a ventilator, but he is not able to eat and my sister still can't hold him.
Over the weekend, I spoke to Susanne constantly. I have never heard her so broken; I have never seen her in so much pain.
But despite this senseless tragedy, we still have hope. Miracles happen, each and every day. The prayers that surround this precious child are strong, and we know that despite our current confusion, there is a greater purpose here.
For those of you who know Susanne, you can understand when I say that there is no one in the world that I admire more. Susanne radiates joy. She reaches out to young and old with an unfaltering compassion. Her heart breaks for those who hurt, rejoices for those who celebrate, and unselfishly gives, day after day.
I came into this world when Susanne was 15 years old. My toddler years were spent in her back bedroom, snuggling up next to her while she did her homework, playing "Up in the Moon" underneath the covers. When she left for college, my four-year old heart broke. I can still remember what it felt like to see her drive-away, my tear stained self standing in the driveway with my parents.
During my elementary school years, Susanne fell in love with her husband, Craig. The two of them transported Noelle and me into a world of adventure and excitement. We went to water parks, we explored nature trails, we traveled up the coast of Maine. We watched Aladdin in the theater, and then we watched it again and again in our living room. There were no people that I loved more.
And then in middle school and high school, Susanne stood by my side as I began to discover who I was in this world. She spent countless hours talking to me, laughing with me, crying with me, and praying with me. She became my best friend.
Now, Susanne and I are closer than even I thought possible. We talk everyday. We share our hopes and our dreams. We share the deep reservoirs of pain that only sisters can truly understand. She offers me undying support and encouragement. She breathes life and laughter into days that are dark and difficult. She is more to me than words can describe.
So in some small way, I wanted to share with my readers how much this woman means to me. I want to ask you for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Susanne loves Starbucks, and she is particularly fond of their pumpkin bread. And so, I found a recipe that I think she would enjoy. I'm flying out to Tampa in the next day or two, and I can't wait for the moment that we can sit together, side by side, hand in hand.
Topping
3/4 cup flour
1/4 cup butter (1/2 stick) room temperature
1/2 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon cloves
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup chocolate chips
Cake
2 cups flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter, (1 stick) room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 can of pumpkin (15 oz)
1. For the topping, combine flour, butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon, ginger, cloves, nutmeg and salt in a medium bowl. Mix until crumbly. Add chocolate chips and toss together. Set aside.
2. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Butter and flour a 13x9 inch baking pan. Sift 2 cups of flour, baking powder, and salt into a small bowl. Using an electric mixer, beat 1/2 cup of butter in a large bowl until fluffy. Gradually add 3/4 cup sugar and 1/2 cup brown sugar, beating until well blended. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating to blend after each addition. Add vanilla extract and stir in entire can of pumpkin. With the mixer on low, add the dry ingredients and stir until just blended.
3. Spread half of the batter into the bottom of the pan. Sprinkle around half of the topping mixture and spread the remaining batter on top. Distribute the leftover topping evenly over batter. Bake until tester inserted into center comes and clean and topping is golden brown, about 40 minutes. Cool cake. Serve room temperature.