I talked to one of my professors about the relative absence of grieving rituals in modern America. In the past, certain markers designated a grieving family. A black dress, while somber, also signified the need for extra grace. It allowed for the outside world to be more sensitive and compassionate, more gracious and understanding. The sight of a woman or man in mourning made society pause and offer a helping hand.
In today's world, we can become so busy and distracted that we miss the more subtle markers of human loss.
I think of a friend, who has cancer.
I think of my nephew, who just lost his family.
I think of my mom, who battled a devastating immune disorder.
How I wish these people could be surrounded by a thick blanket of love and support! I wish they could have days of calmness. Days in which the salesman at the grocery store is kinder, in which the drivers on the interstate honk less, in which the man at Starbucks understands if they can't make a decision about their coffee...days in which grace and love abound.
After Ryan's dad died last January, we walked around Ambler, PA, and visited a small coffee shop each morning. The woman who served us coffee was older, mid-50s, and she had no clue about the horrific experience we were walking through. Yet each morning, she served us with such warmth and compassion. Despite the freezing temperature and our broken hearts, I felt safe this.
This time, I also feel surrounded by such a great cloud of compassion and kindness. I have had so many people reach out to me, in both tangible and intangible ways. Thank you for the cards, the emails, the gifts, the prayers, the journals, the meals. Thank you.
And I encourage us all to bestow kindness on those that we see today. People, that while strangers, might be walking down a very dark road.
My sweet friend, Debra, over at Smith Bites offered this post for me today. She has the same name as my mother, and the kind words she offers reminds me of that woman I love so dear. These scones look beautiful....please enjoy.
I met Monet several months ago when she left a comment on one of my posts - something along the lines of how beautiful our photography is, that she loved the recipe, etc. So I headed over here discovered a lovely blog filled with fictional stories as well as stories about her family . . . oh yes, and I also found glorious baked goods . . .
I live in Indiana and while I would like nothing better than to personally take Monet a meal, several other friends and I have written guest-posts so that she can have a bit of time away from her blog and get her bearings again.
If we were neighbors, we would probably sit and talk about all that has happened and I would tell her that there will be days and maybe weeks when it feels as if she can’t breathe, and those are the times when she must rely on the happy, joyful memories when all was right in her world. Hold tight to those memories because they were given to you for this very reason – like a tugboat in deep, rough waters, those memories will carry you over waves of grief that feel as if they have no end.
And one more thing Monet, joy and sorrow can co-exist. I promise, they do . . . then I would hug her and probably shed some tears too.
These Apricot-Walnut scones are exactly what I would take to Monet if we were neighbors. They are not difficult to make and come out of the oven light, moist and fluffy – exactly like a good scone should to be.
GIANT APRICOT-WALNUT SCONES
Bon Appetit
December 2009
INGREDIENTS:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/3 cup chopped walnuts
½ cup chopped dried apricots
½ cup golden raisins
1-1/3 cups heavy whipping cream
powdered sugar
METHOD:
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees
- Whisk first 3 ingredients in a large bowl.
- Stir in walnuts, apricots and raisins.
- Add cream; stir with fork just to blend.
- Transfer dough to work surface sprinkled with powdered sugar.
- Knead dough until smooth, about 10 turns.
- Form dough into 1-inch-thick round.
- Cut into 6 wedges; sift powdered sugar over and transfer to baking sheet.
- Bake scones until golden brown and toothpick inserted into center comes out clean, about 18 minutes.
- Serve warm or at room temperature.
SMITH BITES WAY: Make the full batch, bake two of the scones following the instructions above. Place the remaining four uncooked scones on a cookie sheet lined with parchment and freeze. Remove frozen scone(s) whenever you get a hankerin’ and bake according to instructions above adding 5-10 minutes of additional baking time.