I've been crying a lot this week. Crying at home, crying in the shower, crying in class. In fact, I was just crying about ten minutes before I sat down to write this.
I've cried for joy, and I've also cried in deep and hurting pain.
I remember crying on my wedding day and watching Ryan's eyes fill with tears as I walked down the aisle. It was a beautiful moment, a moment worthy of tears.
And I know that this week, crying has also been warranted.
Ryan and I have both held each other as we've prayed and hoped for the recovery of my sweet baby nephew.
I remember listening to my sister and brother-in-law weep for joy when baby Ryan offered them his first smile since the accident.
And yesterday, when I received the news that the final report from baby Ryan's MRI revealed extensive exterior brain damage, I cried once again.
I've cried for joy, and I've also cried in deep and hurting pain.
I remember crying on my wedding day and watching Ryan's eyes fill with tears as I walked down the aisle. It was a beautiful moment, a moment worthy of tears.
And I know that this week, crying has also been warranted.
Ryan and I have both held each other as we've prayed and hoped for the recovery of my sweet baby nephew.
I remember listening to my sister and brother-in-law weep for joy when baby Ryan offered them his first smile since the accident.
And yesterday, when I received the news that the final report from baby Ryan's MRI revealed extensive exterior brain damage, I cried once again.
And yet as these tears flow from my body, I feel cleansed. There is a release in letting your deep pain and fear surface for the world to visibly see and feel. I've been able to cry with friend, to mourn with my husband, to rejoice with my sister and to desperately seek an explanation and a miracle.
Tears are not meant to be a bad thing.
They are meant to show those around you that you are in need of support, that you are feeling acutely the pain and the joy of being alive.
And so I will continue to cry this week, and probably for many more weeks to come. I know that there will be seasons when those tears will be tears of joy and there will continue to be times where those tears are tears of pain.
But thank God, I have people around me who are not afraid of holding each other when these times of intense emotion come.
Tears are not meant to be a bad thing.
They are meant to show those around you that you are in need of support, that you are feeling acutely the pain and the joy of being alive.
And so I will continue to cry this week, and probably for many more weeks to come. I know that there will be seasons when those tears will be tears of joy and there will continue to be times where those tears are tears of pain.
But thank God, I have people around me who are not afraid of holding each other when these times of intense emotion come.
When I thought about what recipe I wanted to share this Friday, I knew that I wanted something wholesome yet sweet.
These rolls are composed of a slightly sweet dough studded with pistachios and chocolate chips. Similar to a cinnamon roll, these buns are perfect for breakfast. They aren't overly sweet though, so if you are craving a Cinnabon, you may just want to go to the mall.
I hope you enjoy these as much as we did. And I hope that this weekend, you can be with the people that hold you when you cry.
Baby Ryan does indeed have brain damage from his near-drowning. As excited as we were on Wednesday, it was devastating to hear the news yesterday morning. However, we are still holding onto hope. Baby Ryan laughed this afternoon and has been smiling more often. Please continue to keep him and our family in your prayers.
These rolls are composed of a slightly sweet dough studded with pistachios and chocolate chips. Similar to a cinnamon roll, these buns are perfect for breakfast. They aren't overly sweet though, so if you are craving a Cinnabon, you may just want to go to the mall.
I hope you enjoy these as much as we did. And I hope that this weekend, you can be with the people that hold you when you cry.
Baby Ryan does indeed have brain damage from his near-drowning. As excited as we were on Wednesday, it was devastating to hear the news yesterday morning. However, we are still holding onto hope. Baby Ryan laughed this afternoon and has been smiling more often. Please continue to keep him and our family in your prayers.
Pistachio and Chocolate Buns
*This will make 24 pistachio and chocolate buns. If you want a smaller amount, simply divide the dough in half and use one half for dinner rolls (omitting the chocolate, pistachios and filling)
2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast
1 3/4 cups warm water (110 degrees F)
1/2 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup butter, melted and cooled
1 egg, beaten
2 1/4 cups whole wheat flour
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup shelled pistachios
1/4 cup butter, melted
2-4 TBSP granulated sugar
1. In a large bowl, dissolve the yeast in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
2. Mix sugar, salt, melted butter, egg, and whole wheat flour into yeast mixture. Stir in all-purpose flour, 1/2 cup at a time, until dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl.
3. Turn dough out onto a well floured surface, and knead until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes. Then, knead in the pistachios and the chocolate chips (this can get a bit messy, but don't worry, just have fun)
4. Once chips and nuts are incorporated, place dough in a lightly oiled bowl. Cover with a damp cloth and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 1 hour.
5. Grease or line 2 dozen muffin cups. Punch down dough and divide into two equal portions. Roll each into a 6x14 inch rectangle. Brush the melted butter over the dough and sprinkle with sugar (you will have extra butter, which is okay, you don't want your dough to be soggy, just lightly covered with butter)
6. Roll each rectangle into a 14 inch log. Cut each log into 12 equal pieces and place in prepared muffin tins. Allow to rise for an additional 30-40 minutes, lightly covered.
7. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F and bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from oven, and brush again with melted butter.
Always,
Monet
Anecdotes and Apple Cores
Please like me on Facebook, if you haven't already!
*This will make 24 pistachio and chocolate buns. If you want a smaller amount, simply divide the dough in half and use one half for dinner rolls (omitting the chocolate, pistachios and filling)
2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast
1 3/4 cups warm water (110 degrees F)
1/2 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup butter, melted and cooled
1 egg, beaten
2 1/4 cups whole wheat flour
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup shelled pistachios
1/4 cup butter, melted
2-4 TBSP granulated sugar
1. In a large bowl, dissolve the yeast in warm water. Let stand until creamy, about 10 minutes.
2. Mix sugar, salt, melted butter, egg, and whole wheat flour into yeast mixture. Stir in all-purpose flour, 1/2 cup at a time, until dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl.
3. Turn dough out onto a well floured surface, and knead until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes. Then, knead in the pistachios and the chocolate chips (this can get a bit messy, but don't worry, just have fun)
4. Once chips and nuts are incorporated, place dough in a lightly oiled bowl. Cover with a damp cloth and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 1 hour.
5. Grease or line 2 dozen muffin cups. Punch down dough and divide into two equal portions. Roll each into a 6x14 inch rectangle. Brush the melted butter over the dough and sprinkle with sugar (you will have extra butter, which is okay, you don't want your dough to be soggy, just lightly covered with butter)
6. Roll each rectangle into a 14 inch log. Cut each log into 12 equal pieces and place in prepared muffin tins. Allow to rise for an additional 30-40 minutes, lightly covered.
7. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F and bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from oven, and brush again with melted butter.
Always,
Monet
Anecdotes and Apple Cores
Please like me on Facebook, if you haven't already!
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