I planned on sharing a strawberry tart, herb foccacia, and maybe a picture or two from South by Southwest.
Instead, I come to you, once again, with a broken heart, a weary spirit.
My 24 years on this earth have been full of joy and suffering. Bright days and long, dark nights. I have walked down many paths I never thought would end, paths that seemed to have no light to guide me.
I've embarked on another journey.
My oldest sister, Pam, and her family were in a fatal car accident this weekend. My younger nephew, Jeremy, passed away. He was only thirteen. My sister and her husband, Mike, are in critical condition in Tallahassee. My other nephew, Joshua, is 15. He is in stable condition physically, but he is at risk of losing his entire family.
He just wanted to say goodbye to his younger brother. Don't we all want to hold onto the ones we love with such tight grasps?
Instead, I come to you, once again, with a broken heart, a weary spirit.
My 24 years on this earth have been full of joy and suffering. Bright days and long, dark nights. I have walked down many paths I never thought would end, paths that seemed to have no light to guide me.
I've embarked on another journey.
My oldest sister, Pam, and her family were in a fatal car accident this weekend. My younger nephew, Jeremy, passed away. He was only thirteen. My sister and her husband, Mike, are in critical condition in Tallahassee. My other nephew, Joshua, is 15. He is in stable condition physically, but he is at risk of losing his entire family.
He just wanted to say goodbye to his younger brother. Don't we all want to hold onto the ones we love with such tight grasps?
Joshua and Pam
Jeremy, Pam, Mike, Joshua
Pam and sweet Jeremy. May he rest in peace.
My family has been walking a hard road.
We lost Ryan's father suddenly in January 2010.
My other sister, Susanne, watched her youngest son struggle for his life after he drowned in Florida in October 2010. He is home now, but the brain damage was severe, and he still can't eat or drink on his own.
Ryan's grandmother passed away from dementia just a few weeks ago.
And now, in an instant, my nephew Jeremy is gone, and I may lose my sister.
We lost Ryan's father suddenly in January 2010.
My other sister, Susanne, watched her youngest son struggle for his life after he drowned in Florida in October 2010. He is home now, but the brain damage was severe, and he still can't eat or drink on his own.
Ryan's grandmother passed away from dementia just a few weeks ago.
And now, in an instant, my nephew Jeremy is gone, and I may lose my sister.
The Moutrie Sisters
My big sisters
If you've read my blog for long, you know how important my family is to my day to day existence. The bonds that keep us together are strong and yet....painfully fragile. My sisters mean more to me than a thousand blog posts could ever express.
As Pam sits in her hospital bed, wires running in and out of her body, I sit in Austin weeping and praying that God will intervene.
Joshua needs his parents. I need his parents. My family needs to be whole.
But I know that no matter what happens in the days to come, I will be reunited with my family one day. With Ryan's dad, with Jeremy, with all the people we've lost and will continue to lose.
Is this faith? Yes. It is. And it is this faith that allows me to leave my house, walk through my neighborhood, and cry at both the beauty and the pain that pulses as steady as a heartbeat.
As Pam sits in her hospital bed, wires running in and out of her body, I sit in Austin weeping and praying that God will intervene.
Joshua needs his parents. I need his parents. My family needs to be whole.
But I know that no matter what happens in the days to come, I will be reunited with my family one day. With Ryan's dad, with Jeremy, with all the people we've lost and will continue to lose.
Is this faith? Yes. It is. And it is this faith that allows me to leave my house, walk through my neighborhood, and cry at both the beauty and the pain that pulses as steady as a heartbeat.
Over the course of the next few days, so much will change. Good or bad, I know love and peace will swell to match the sorrow and pain that comes.
We will bury Jeremy in a few days, a few weeks. Please pray that if my sister and her husband need to go...it will happen quickly and without more pain.
But I beg of you, send up your thoughts and your prayers for a complete healing of my family. For Pam. For Mike. For Joshua. For baby Ryan. For my own heart. For the hearts of my family members.
You can find me on facebook, if you want to stay updated. I won't be blogging much in the days to come. But your words and thoughts have already blessed me tremendously.
Love to you all,
Monet
*For those of you interested...I've set up a donation fund which will be used to cover travel expenses. All extra funds will be donated to a charity in Jeremy's name. The donate button can be found on the right side of my blog
We will bury Jeremy in a few days, a few weeks. Please pray that if my sister and her husband need to go...it will happen quickly and without more pain.
But I beg of you, send up your thoughts and your prayers for a complete healing of my family. For Pam. For Mike. For Joshua. For baby Ryan. For my own heart. For the hearts of my family members.
You can find me on facebook, if you want to stay updated. I won't be blogging much in the days to come. But your words and thoughts have already blessed me tremendously.
Love to you all,
Monet
*For those of you interested...I've set up a donation fund which will be used to cover travel expenses. All extra funds will be donated to a charity in Jeremy's name. The donate button can be found on the right side of my blog
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